Wasps' Nest

I wrote this in October 2024, just before the Remedies Hearing of my Employment Tribunal involving Edinburgh Rape Crisis Centre.

Have you seen a real wasps' nest? Held one in your hand? Paper thin, delicate, beautiful, carefully constructed. Inside, once the uniform hexagons are made, the wasps are just getting on within it, unquestioningly, but ready to defend it, angrily. It’s a fragile piece/peace.

Walking in Wales a few years ago, I climbed over a fence and stood on a wasps’ nest. I accidentally damaged their beautiful home in which they had felt safe. I don’t know how many wasps flew up my trouser leg. I imagined dozens. Feeling trapped, angry and scared they stung like crazy, over and over. They couldn't see anything of me, except the skin of my leg. They kept stinging. I frantically ripped off my trousers and stood in my pants on the road, crying in pain. Vulnerable, disorientated, in shock, I was led home. I needed care, gentleness. I slept for hours.

On 15th June 2022 events coalesced at work. A set of circumstances I had seen coming and been asking for discussion on for months, arrived on my desk for me to deal with. It was exactly what I had been trying to resolve, to no avail. I saw my chance to ask a bit louder, so this time it couldn't be ignored. It was a risk rooted in hope of opening dialogue and taken with care. Nevertheless, a risk. I sensed it would be interpreted as intentional violence. The next day I told a friend, "I think I kicked the wasps’ nest, let’s see where this goes”.

I’ve been wondering why I chose that metaphor in that moment. I guess I was predicting the defensive angry response, the pain, the vulnerability, the not being seen.

Also maybe foreseeing that with support I would survive and that they might just rebuild it.

Two months on, I’m still waiting to see if the interim CEO will rebuild it as a wasps’ nest. What will ERCC take from the Tribunal Judgment and the Ling Report? Will the organisation have the courage and be sufficiently held to step back and rethink? There are glimmers of a different, more responsive construction and some bridges being built. I’m holding on to hope.